Trite quotes and I are not usually friends, but I can’t help loving this DMB quote, and not just because I was in high school in the 90s. It summarized my thoughts during my divorce almost ten years ago now and is back on my mind now during another time of transition.
So this is the big news – for the first time since I started working as a teacher’s assistant at hebrew school in ninth grade, I am officially jobless and have no near term plans to find a new job. I have had times of not working here and there after high school, college, and when relocating to Philly from Boston, but there was always the understanding that I was in the process of finding a new job or waiting for one to start. But as of the middle of June I not longer am working, and let me tell you a few things!
First of all – this was the hardest job I ever quit. I loved everything about my last job – my boss, my work, my coworkers, my company – literally everything. I felt so incredibly foolish quitting! I almost wished I hated my job so I could be one of those people who write about leaving their high paying but stressful job to live a simpler life in the county. But, alas I had an excellent job that didn’t overwork me or stress me out and also paid well. I also loved the type of work I did – I love programming and figuring out puzzles and developing new ways of doing things. But sitting there at my computer day in and day out while all the projects outside called to me just started to be too much. I kept thinking about all the stuff I could be doing if I had more time – all the big projects I could finish (or at least start)!
Secondly – not having a job is weird! I’m still trying to get myself on a set schedule, a lot of what I do daily depends on the weather, and I have to be the one each day to decide what gets done. I still haven’t figured out what to tell people I do and when I do tell people I just quit my job I feel a weird pang of guilt like I did something wrong or that I’m somehow bragging that I don’t need a job. I’m also used to being A PROGRAMMER and being a person who WORKS. Not working makes me feel slightly unsettled, but also like I can do anything.
So this is where I’m at…I can do anything! A lot of anything. BIG ANYTHINGS!
Stay tuned for the big list of all the things I can do!